The One I Could Never Have
by ForTheTrees
Summary: Bex could do nothing about the fact that Zach loves Cammie. Nothing but love him. Secretly, of course. After Cammie runs away, Zach shows up in Budapest with Bex. She has to hide her feelings for him, which is one of the hardest things to do. Unless you're a spy.


**The One I Could Never Have...**

**Hello everybody! Uh, may I point out that I am, still in fact, a newbie to fanfiction. So no flames. I totally am a Zammie fan, but who wouldn't love Zach. A bit of Bex POV, if I may. Everything belongs to Ally Carter.**

You may know me as Rebecca Baxter. You may also know that if you dare call me Rebecca, you will certainly end up in the infirmary. Everybody that chooses to live without a limp calls me Bex. My code name is Duchess. My parents are elite agents in MI6. They love me endlessly, yet they still take dangerous missions. It's their job. They're my rock and my shoulder. So are my friends. My best friends are Chameleon, Bookworm, and Peacock: better known as Cammie, Liz, and Macey.

Liz, ah, the innocent genius. She will never fear for her parents' safety. Her parents aren't spies. Nor are Macey's. Macey's parents are the all-powerful Senator McHenry and cosmetic superstar mother. Well, her parents might encounter danger because of their social status, not because of what they do.

Cammie is a totally different story. Her mom runs the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, our school. Her dad, well, her dad has been missing for a while. He's believed to be dead. But, in this career, you need to find a body to declare 'deceased'. Cammie is the person I aspire to be.

Cammie. She thought she was a chameleon, but she is a legacy. Her dad was the best of the best. Well, so is Cammie. And sophomore year, boys came to our school. Our _all-girls_ school.

Zachary Goode was one of those boys. He had gorgeous eyes, tan skin, and dark, glossy hair. An I fell I love with him immediately.

So did Cammie. All my life, I've come in second to her! The only thing I've ever beat her at is P&E. That's where I get out all my jealousy and anger at my inability to outdo her. Not that she knows that.

On that mission in D.C. there were two boys on that bench. Naturally, I turned on the charm. But, Cammie! She just had to point out that we were on a mission. So we left. To my surprise, one of the boys started following me. Not the one I wanted. I saw my guy enter an elevator behind Cammie. That was the last I saw of him. Until school.

The first day the boys came to our school, Tina came up to Cammie and asked if she's was interested in Zach, because apparently she had dibs. When she said no, I almost shot out of my chair and straight over to the boys' table. But I saw the look on her face. And she liked him; of course she'd like him! So later, in class, Zach's friend, Grant, the boy that had followed me up the escalator in D.C., sat next to me and started flirting. Badly, might I add? But the only one I wanted was Zach. So, I played along. I flipped my hair, trying to get Zach's attention. But he was clearly drawn to Cammie. The feelings were also reflected by Cammie.

From then on, we were deciphering Zach. Cammie was head over heels. The more we picked apart Zach and his life, the more I fell in love.

But that was the problem. We couldn't piece him together. He was a shadow, smoke, nothing. Not a trace in the system. No family in the CIA, FBI, NSA, Interpol, you name it. No school records from primary school. No t-ball or basketball tournaments from his childhood. Not even a birth certificate! He wasn't real. Couldn't be. We. Could. Not. Figure. Him. Out.

I think that's one of the reasons why I love him. Mysterious. I'll just add that to handsome, smart, cocky, confident, strong, and sly.

When Zach kept flirting with Cammie, and Macey deciphered the words, I'd sit back and imagine the witty comments and delicious smirks were for me.

And the dance! Grrr, the dance! Zach waltzed down the stairs with a grumpy Cammie. Why was she mad?! If I had the chance to be with him, not once would my smile fault. She didn't appreciate him like I would. Like I do. Then they disappeared together. And she came back, looking flushed. Most thought the alarm was sounded for Cammie. But I knew that she didn't trigger it. I knew that she was with Zach.

I have to remind myself to stay in the present. The present where that gorgeous boy was sitting on the couch across from me, and has apparently asked me something.

"Pardon? I wasn't listening."

"Obviously not. If she would do anywhere, where would it be? Her dream vacation place. Do you know where any of her dad's missions were? How about any Circle hotspots? Anything Bex, anything. Please?"

He was talking about Cammie. It _always_ goes back to Cammie.

My parents and I were in Budapest, searching for information leading to Cammie. The first day we arrived, Zach had appeared on our rental house's doorstep.

"Zach, how would I know? She wouldn't go to her dream vacation for information, missions are classified, you know more about the Circle than I _ever_ will, and I want to find her just as bad as you do. So, relax, drink some lemonade, and wait for my parents to get back from their meeting. They might have something new to report."

He sighed. It was rare, to see him so defeated. So vulnerable. So breakable.

"It was my idea." He whispered.

"What was?" What plan had he thought of? Why did he sound so guilty?

"I told her to run away. It was my idea. It was my fault. I'm so sorry. So sorry." He laid his head in his hands and sighed again.

Oh. I remember. He told Cammie to run away with him. Or so I read in her journal. He thought it was his doing. "I know. I read her CoveOps report. Don't feel bad. Your idea was to go with her. That may have worked. What Cammie did was irrational. Your idea was sensible. Look at me. Zach," I hated him looking like a sick puppy. It took away his charm. He needed to perk up. He lost his swagger. He needed it back.

"So," I dragged out the vowel.

"So," he copied, his smirk slightly reappearing when he saw my face.

"How about you prove to me that you could beat a girl? Oops, sorry, I misspoke. How about you show to me what a sore loser you are? Race you to the pool!"

Simultaneously, we shot out of the couches and out the back door. I reached the pool's edge and laughed. He was probably four feet behind me. Usually I'd brag about how I won, but I'm pretty sure it was because he had to go around my couch to get outside. Whereas I had merely hopped over the back.

I also would've bragged if he hadn't bent down and grabbed my waist and threw me into the pool!

_That moron!_ I thought. I had only enough time to hold my breath and go under. I decided to play with him. I held my breath as long as I could, and sunk to the bottom.

After a minute or so, I felt a splash nearby. Then, I felt some very strong arms under my knees and around my back. As I was pulled to the surface, I saw that Zach looked worried. I laughed. Before he had time to react, I pushed his head under and bolted out of the pool.

I ran through the sliding glass doors, and ran into my father's chest.

"I want a rematch!" Zach called, and then slammed into my back.

My parents looked at us. We were laughing. My father was about to scold me, but my mother put a hand on his forearm.

"Would you two like to hear some news?"

Our laughter died and both nodded.

"Well, you see, Cammie had stopped at Joseph Solomon's safe house, got food, money, and a disguise. And she left. Without a trace." My father had on his indifferent mask. "That is all the information we have. I'm sorry."

"It's Cammie. Did you expect to find a trail?" I bolted out of the house and darted around the corner. I assumed Zach had stayed and tried to get more information.

Why did I react so badly to that? I was so mad that they came in and ruined our moment, and mentioned _Cammie_. I ran until I arrived in a marketplace. Good. Time to blend. I hoped my spy skills were still here even in my fit of jealousy. Even in my dripping clothes.

I also ran because I needed to remind myself that Zach was Cammie's. Not mine. Cammie's. I repeated this like a mantra as I walked through the vendor stalls. Not mine. Cammie's. Not mine. _He could be mine_.

Where did that thought come from? Not mine. Cammie's. _But, what if… _"No!"

"You don't like the necklace?" An older woman was standing in front of me. Apparently I had stopped near her booth and was looking at the jewelry. My eyes spotted a black leather strap with a dark green stone on the end. The stone had flecks of gold, and was perfectly round. It was the color of Zach's eyes. "No, I love it."

Impulsively, I bought it and wound it around my neck and tucked it into my wet shirt. I then also bought four small charms, black with silver speckles. They were stars.

"You never struck me as the jewelry type."

"They're for my friends. A souvenir of sorts." I turned around to face the handsome boy behind me. He had changed out of his wet clothes and into a clean outfit before chasing after me. Should I mention that he was as gorgeous as ever?

"Four. One has to be for you, unless there's a secret friend. Which I doubt. Or it's for me. But, if so, no thanks. " Zach ended his playful talk about the charms I bought and then looked concerned. "So, why'd you run off?"

I said nothing. I just looked at him, and then sighed. I started walking toward the house.

_Because you're all I wanted. All Cammie wanted. And all you want is Cammie. You're the one I could never have. The one that would never want me._

**Oooooh, so…. jealous Bex! And vulnerable Zach? Kinda. Do you know what I love more than Zach? Reviews. Or cake. But reviews are fine, too. 3**


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